Wednesday, January 2, 2013

A Clean Slate

Isn't it funny how your perspective on things can change in a moments time?  When January 1 rolls around it is almost as though people catch their second wind...enough to get them motivated to keep moving forward.  A few days ago I was thinking about the new year and how most people, myself included, feel they are starting over or wiping the proverbial slate clean.  And as I was pondering that thought, this illustration came to mind.
Have you ever wrote on a white board?  In most cases you write or draw as you wish and then with a few swipes of an eraser it all disappears.  But have you ever tried to erase words or artwork that has been left written on the white board for a while?  It takes a lot more elbow grease to remove the marker and even then the traces of what was written remains, stubbornly refusing to disappear. 
Aren't we like that in  many ways?  Sometimes there are things in our life that are easy for us to change.  We make the decision to get rid of them and with little effort we are successful.  But other things, things that have been hanging around a while, aren't so easy to get rid of.  Maybe it's a bad habit or hidden sin, but whatever it is, you've tried to get rid of it but no matter how hard you try the imprint remains.  You are unable to wipe the slate clean.
In the case of the white board all it takes is a dousing of white board cleaner and a good scrub with a rag to make the white background shine brightly again, free of any leftover marker.  With us, we need a dousing of the crimson blood of Jesus Christ. 

Ephesians 1:7-8 (NIV) "In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance wit the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding."

The only way we can erase the stains of our past is with the blood of Jesus.  I am so thankful that as the new year begins and we look forward to making changes, that I can count on Jesus Christ to wipe the slate clean where I cannot. 

Happy New Year! 

Thursday, June 14, 2012

The BIG Step Out

As I am preparing to type this post the words from Francesca Battistelli's song "I'm Letting Go" are rolling around in my mind.  The words: The opening line, "My heart beats, I'm standing on the edge.  My feet have finally left the ledge...." and then the course, "I'm letting go of the life I planned for me, and my dreams.  I'm losing control of my destiny.  It feels like I'm falling and that's what it's like to believe."  A few weeks ago, I experienced that exact feeling.  Before you roll your eyes and think "here she goes talking about skydiving again", just give me a few minutes to elaborate.  I had a mini-revelation last night and I want to share, hoping that you will be as inspired as I was.

***********************************************************
The first house we lived in when we moved to Siloam was in a neighborhood that was right next to the airport.  If we were outside on sunny days you would hear the roar of the engine from the airplanes taking off and then, not too long after, you would hear this "Whoosh" sound and if you looked closely, you would see a flash of vibrant color in the sky that would become larger as the parachute made its descent to the ground.  It was fun to watch.  "I want to do that someday, "  I would say.  Just the thought of what that must feel like was exciting.  "I'm going to do it, one day." 

Fast forward a few years to December 25, 2011.  I am leaving Christmas morning service at the church when an usher, wearing a big smile on his face, stops me.  "So, did you hit your BGMC goal?  Are you going skydiving?"  The deadline for money to be turned in toward our $2,000 BGMC (Boys and Girls Missionary Challenge) goal that would result in my jumping out of a plane had passed and we were several hundred dollars shy of our mark. "Doesn't look like it's going to happen," I told him.  His smile only grew bigger.  "You'll never guess what came in the offering today.  Someone wrote a check for (x amount of dollars) to BGMC." 

My heart skipped a beat.  "Uh-uh!" 
"Yes they did!" he insisted. 
It was true.  The giver had wrote a check to BGMC that put us OVER our goal.  It was official, I was going skydiving. 

April 2011 arrives....the date is scheduled.  The Friday night before I don't sleep, not well anyway.  I keep having a varied version of the same dream over and over.  I am on a plane but the plane never gets off the ground.  I keep making excuses and prolonging the take-off.  Saturday morning arrives.  My morning is spent flinching at the sound of anything that sounds like an airplane engine.  I call Skyranch where I will make my jump to confirm.  "Not going to happen today," the man on the other end of the phone tells me.  "The clouds are too low."  A wave of relief washes over me. 

May 2012....jump rescheduled.  I'm not sure what changed inside of me between April and May but something did.  I slept soundly on Friday night and woke up Saturday with a healthy anticipation of what the day had in store for me.  No nerves, just excitement.  The moment arrives.  I am geared up with what I am sure is the tightest harness that exists and I board the small plane along with my two skydive coaches and another first-time skydiver.  It is my first plane ride ever.  At around 9,000 feet in the air my skydive coach attaches my harness to his.  I am strapped to him much like an infant is strapped to the chest of their mother.  The airplane door opens and a gust of wind that literally took my breath away wooshes in.  There is a tiny step outside the plane.  The instructor places his foot on it first, and I follow.  It is at this moment most people panic.  We are now 9,500 feet above the ground.  He counts us down...1, 2, 3 and our free fall toward the ground at 120mph begins.    I cannot begin to put words to that feeling.  It didn't feel like falling.  I didn't feel like I was flying.  But whatever I was feeling was incredible!  Thirty seconds later the parachute opens.  The 4 1/2 minute "float" to the ground is breath-taking.  "Wow, God!  You are amazing!"  Once on the ground, and after regaining my bearings, I instantly know...I want to do that again! 

Now....here's my mini-revelation: 
How often do we say to ourselves, "I want to have faith..." or "I see what God is doing in everyone else's life", but we never get on the plane?  I believe faith in God is a lot like skydiving.  For those 5 minutes, my life was completely in the hands of someone else.  My instructor told me when to jump, I was just along for the ride.  There was nothing holding me in the air except a high-tech harness that was attached to my instructor.  I had no idea where the rip-cord was to pull the chute.  But I knew my instructor did, and he would pull it.  I had complete faith in my instructor and a total calm as I took that first step out of plane. 

I feel like God is asking me, and maybe you, too, "Do you have complete faith in me?"  Why won't we attach ourselves to God and throw our arms out and jump out into whatever it is He's calling us to do?  Why do we need to know how everything is going to work in order to trust Him?  Can't we instead believe that He knows what He's doing and that He will lead us safely through?  If we would truly have faith in God then no step would seem too big, and I imagine that the feeling we would get would far surpass those few exhilarating moments I experienced while skydiving. 

Don't you want to get on the plane?  Don't you want to stop talking about "one day" and instead say, "today is the day"? 

Skydiving has now become a new fascination for me.  In fact, I've even looked into taking classes to become a certified skydiver.  If you ever do it once, I guarantee you, you will want to do it again.  It truly is a feeling like no other.  And I am certain that having a true, complete faith in God is also a feeling like no other. 

Will you join me in taking on the challenge to put your faith 100% in God?  If you've read "The Circle Maker" by Mark Batterson, then you will understand what I mean when I say, start drawing those prayer circles and believe! 



Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Overhauling

For the past several weeks God has really laid the word "overhaul" on my heart. For the last couple of months of 2011 I felt like my life was on cruise control, especially in the spiritual realm. I was reading my Bible and praying and journaling but it felt more like a box to check off my to-do list rather than an opportunity for spiritual growth and intimacy with Christ. I began to pray that God would provide opportunities for more personal, quality time with Him but when He did, I was still not taking full advantage of those moments. It was then that God dropped the word "overhaul" into my heart. Let me see if I can explain.

There is a television show that is titled "Overhaulin'" and the purpose of the show is to take a vehicle (unbeknownst to the owner but with a loved ones permission)and completely restore it. The owner has no creative input, no approval of designs, no control over any part of the process. The master designer has full control and free reign to do as he pleases to the vehicle. Usually the vehicle is some kind of classic car that has spent far too many years collecting dust in a garage just waiting for someone to make it new again. Or, at times, the vehicle will be one that holds great sentimental value because it had been passed down through the family over several generations. An elite team of of mechanics, designers, sound techs, and upholsterers come together to give the vehicle a complete, inside and out, overhaul.

During the course of the overhaul many things take place. Alot of times the vehicle is stripped completely bare because there's nothing worth saving. Other times the whole body of the car is sand blasted to remove rust. Then there's welding parts back together that have cracked and need to be strengthened, followed by a good buffing to make it smooth and remove any traces of previous damage. Next comes removing any parts that will no longer be needed for the vehicle's new design. Of course the body is painted and often times a specialized artist will come in to do unique, hand-painted designs that is usually time consuming and tedious. All the while the engine has either been rebuilt or a new one is being installed, the interior becomes new and pristine with top of the line gadgets and electronics. A new sound system and custom rims usually finish off the overhaul.

When the owner is finally allowed to see his or her vehicle they are usually moved to tears and their joy is obvious in their actions and words. The vehicle that they once loved and valued so much, the one that they spent all week fretting over never seeing again, has been returned. The vehicle has become all they ever dreamed and hoped it would be plus much more. The value has doubled, if not tripled! I've never once watched the show and seen one person disappointed in the outcome or wish for the old version of their vehicle. The master designer then gives the signed drawing, the very blueprint used for the overhaul, to the owner.

You see, what God was saying to me was, "What you are in Me is valuable and you of great worth in My sight. But let Me transform you into something even more valuable. I am the Master Designer and I have a plan for your life. If you will let Me overhaul you, you won't regret it. I want to make you everything you've dreamed of and hoped for...and so much more!"

I know the process will be hard and painful. In the same way that the vehicle had to be stripped bare or sand-blasted, welded and buffed, I know that I will have to be, also. But if that's what it takes for God to overhaul me inside and out, I will endure it. I want God to sign His name upon my heart and when the process is over(however long it may take) I want to be able to look in the mirror (physically & spiritually) and see the difference. I want to live up the potential that God sees in me that I do not yet see in myself. But in the need, I will be of even greater value because I have let him have complete control, free reign to overhaul me for a greater purpose to which He is calling me.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

What Time Is It?

Okay, okay...I know when I began this blog several months ago I said that my goal was to post once a week. Well, it's apparent that hasn't been the case. However, I didn't give this blog the name "Manic Mommy" for no good reason. That is exactly what this summer has been...MANIC! I've been penciling "blog" in on my planner for weeks but something else always seems to come up. My inspiration to finally get back into the blogging scene was this morning when I discovered a good friend (who just so happens to be my pastor's wife) has began her own blog. I thought to myself, "Well if she can find time to blog, so can I." I say that because she is one of the busiest women I know.
My bible reading yesterday happened to include Ecclesiastes 3. The first 8 verses of this chapter are one of my favorite passages in the bible. They read:
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace."
I love these verses because it always makes me evaluate myself and my life and helps me figure out which season my life is in. This summer, and even until recent weeks, has been so packed with outings, activities, responsibilities, and obligations that it all seemed to run together. Someone once told me that in life you will have to say "no" to some good things in order to free yourself to say "yes" to some great things.
I want God to reveal to me what things I should say "no" to so that I can say "yes" to the great things he has in store for me. I am a firm believer that we are to "live life to the full" but when I find myself running from activity to activity, obligation to obligation, my cup is anything but full. In fact, it's drained. I like to re-read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 as a reminder that there is a time for everything, but that doesn't mean it's time to do it all right this very moment.
I pray that you will be blessed this week. Ask God to show you what it's time for you to be doing.
Hugs & Blessings!!
Wendy

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Grace

Have you ever had one of those moments when you look at your child and your become completely overwhelmed by emotion? I had one of those moments last night. It was late, 10:30 or somewhere around there, and Hayley and I were sitting on the couch. She had come into the living room with a "tummy ache". As it turns out, she was just fishing for a late night snack. As she sat next to me eating her frosted cherry pop tarts (my personal favorite)and watching "My First Place" on HGTV she began to talk. She talked about the houses as though she were an expert in real estate and what she thought the buyers should and should not buy. Together we discussed the buyers situation and it hit me that I was talking to her as though she were a friend. It is those moments when she and I are alone that we have some of our best, heartfelt conversations. It is those moments that in my heart I pray to God that 10, 20, 30 years from now she and I can still have that connection and enjoy each others company and conversation. "Hayley," I said, "Do you know how much I love you?" She nodded. "How much?" I asked. "To the moon and the stars," she answered. I shook my head. "Even more." When she had finished her pop tarts I told her she had to go to sleep. Her countenance fell. "Come on," I said as I turned the TV off, "I'll lay with you tonight." She smiled. As we snuggled in her bed I closed my eyes and drifted off into a peaceful sleep, as did she. Those moments are priceless and I wouldn't trade them for anything else in this world. I woke up around 1:30 and made my way to my own bed.
I've said all this to say that I am so thankful God doesn't give us what we deserve. I am so thankful that he so graciously blessed me with the family I have and the wonderful gift of motherhood. I don't think there is another gift so precious. (Aside from salvation & the Holy Spirit, of course.)
This morning as I was getting ready for work I began to sing this song:
"Where would I be? You only know. I'm glad You see through eyes of love. A hopeless case, an empty place if not for grace. And I thank You for the things I cannot see. You've been a shelter in the storms of life, a shield surrounding me. And I thank You for the mercy You provide. I know You could have walked away but You stayed a thousand times. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. I once was lost, but now I'm found. A hopeless case, an empty place if not for grace."

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Family

I am writing to you today from Blytheville, AR. The girls and I are here spending the week with my mother and my wonderful in-laws. I look forward to coming every summer and, as you can probably guess, the girls LOVE it! What kid doesn't want to get to have cookies, ice cream and/or cake for breakfast, followed by cookies, ice cream, and/or cake for lunch! LOL...It's not quite that bad, although enforcing "home rules" while here is a bit of a struggle.
Although, no matter how much grandparents let them get away with, it is me my little one wants at night. Madison insists on sleeping with me. I guess there's some kind of security that she finds in having Mommy there. Without hesitation, I can say that at 31 years of age, I too, find comfort and security in knowing my mom is there. I use to think that once I was grown with a family of my own that I might not need her as much. HA! I find that I need my mom more today than ever. There is a peace I find in her voice and a comfort I feel in her embrace. I have come to realize that you will never outgrow your mother's love. Thank the Lord!!
Today marks the 12 year anniversary of my daddy's passing. 12 years!! In some ways it seems like yesterday and in others, a lifetime ago. June 8, 2008, a date that will forever be etched in my memory. I miss him so much and wonder sometimes what life would be like had he still been here with us. However, I am a firm believer of this familiar passage of scripture:
2 Timothy 4:6 - "For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day - and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearance."
I am so thankful for the legacy God has blessed me with and for the family he has given to me. I encourage you to say a prayer of thanksgiving for all that God has blessed you with today, especially your family.
Be Blessed!

Friday, May 28, 2010

What a crazy, wonderful week this has been! Don't you just love it when God shows up unexpectedly and does something amazing? It's funny that I say "unexpectedly" when really we should ALWAYS expect God to show up. I mean, if we're not expecting him, what's the point? I am so thankful that despite our human mindset that God is faithful. Earlier this week our church held special service for spiritual emphasis week. I had the opportunity to be in the kids service for 2 of those nights. The low crowd had me discouraged and in my mind I had already written off any chance of having a real service. I was fully expecting to play games and find something to do to basically pass the time away. Thank the Lord that the children's pastor had a different idea. We did indeed play a couple of games but then the atmosphere shifted as we entered into worship. God showed up!! The handful of kids that were there were all getting into the worship. I was very quickly humbled. The Holy Spirit began to move and completely filled the room. I was even able to pray with one child who received the Holy Spirit for the first time! AMAZING!! It just goes to show you that even when we may not be expecting it, God can and will show up.

We should all anticipate God's arrival...In our everyday life, in our church services, and of course, the return of Christ the Kind. We don't have time to cross him off the list for the day. I am reminded of a song that I sang in church as a child. I believe it went something like this:
"I just feel like something good is about to happen. I just feel like something good is on the way. He has promised that he'd open all of heaven. And brother it could happen any day. When God's people humble themselves and they call on Jesus and they look to heaven EXPECTING as they pray. I just feel like something good is about to happen and brother this could be that very day."
That should be something we do everyday...EXPECT him. We can't pray to God thinking he might hear us or he may be listening... EXPECT it!